By buffybrown, Aug 12 2018 12:26PM
Welcome to Carters blog:
I've always said everyone has a story to tell. This is Carters story as I'm ready to share with you something I've never told anyone ( Carters Secret ) and I feel my anxiety levels rising.
I'm a 40 year old ABDL, although quite new to the ABDL community I always felt this is where I belong ( I have found it ). From a very early age being cuddled, pampering, nurtured, being close to breasts for comfort and warmth and the feeling of being cared for seemed like the only thing that made a difference within my life.
Over the years I've heard people blame childhood on their behaviour today and I'm not so sure I fully agree with that... You have a choice to change!
Where do I start with this... I was abused as a toddler / child many things I remember, some I vaguely remember other incidents from reports from authorities etc. They say men typically can take 25 years plus to speak out about the abuse they suffered, mainly feeling ashamed after being abused to such a degree they struggle to reveal any experience to anyone. My motto was a secret told was no longer a secret I trust no one.
Mrs Biological was my abuser failing to protect me from abuse, love etc. Without going into detail regarding my situation I suffered physical abuse, neglect, physhological abuse, the reports make me sick to my stomach. I never had any form of relationship with Mrs Biological growing up apart from pure hatred.
Everyday of my life I have suffered from the emotional scars caused by Biological. The abuse has a major impact on my life today with depression and anxiety, eating and sleeping problems, battled with alcohol for 3 years and thoughts of suicide.
It has taken me to reach to the age of 40 years old to say I can not allow Biological to continue to hurt me any longer, she is dead but I was still suffering constantly. I don't want to bore you with anymore wit what I went through I just wanted to share and give you a little picture of just maybe is the reason why I'm here today. ( I feel cheated of my childhood ).
I'm a very loving, caring and considerete person that longs to be loved however in relationships I've always found it difficult to adjust and gain trust! I'm not talking about disloyalty or being unfaithful but other issues within relationship''s eg: I must have forgiveness and I hate arguments. My first ever relationship was with a lady of 33 years old and I was just turned 17, this lasted for 10 years but I believe this is where I first had felt nurture and protected by my then partner. After questioning myself for aprox 15 years about if I fit into the category of being an ABDL? Is this normal? Am I weird or sick ? I decided to research the world of ABDL. After much research on the Internet of Adult baby nurseries, independent mummies, nanny's, and care providers including domination services. Eyes wide open at the dominatrix also providing an AB service I never pushed this option a way, very nervous to think a dominatrix could provide a role of a caring mummy to someone that spends time embedding a stiletto shoe into the back of a gent and caning him repeatedly.
Out of 17 possible AB mummies and nannies and of course dominatrix I built up the courage to contact them, months go by and I'm still unsure of who to contact for my first AB session.
During my search on the Internet I came across " Momma Bea " providing AB services with dedicated website, momma bea had dark hair, beautiful looking and large breast. Yes I thought I want to snuggle up to her and she's the one. I liked Momma Bea BUT... was I going to make the call strictly on her stunning looks alone, let's be honest, we can be who we want to be over the Internet? I continued to keep looking but I was so drawn to Momma Bea so on the 13th April 2018 I made the call to her and booked my first session. After a brief conversation over the phone I was completely at ease and I was reassured and looking forward to meeting my AB mummy for the first time.
From the moment I knocked on the door I was greeted with a beautiful smile and made to feel very welcome and I enjoyed every moment of my ABDL session. I was so nervous but within minutes I felt like I'd known her much longer. My session was everything and more than I expected and I felt like I was going to have a long relationship with " Momma Bea" .The moment I got into my car. I text her to say thank you because it was like my thoughts from my childhood had just been made much more bearable for me. ( Almost like theropy ).
From this day I still continue with my personal demons but with having my professional mummy when I need her makes my everyday life much easier to deal with. I'm very proud to say Carter is the property of Momma Bea.
I now live the life of an adult baby and life has never been so kind to me, seeing my mummy on a regular basis allows me to have all the fun, cuddles, nurture, changing and feeding time that I require when I need it the most. Don't allow me to say she's all so lovely! If I misbehave I know about it and naughty step and sharp smacks to my bottom is something that I'm now starting to recognise. I just need guidance sometimes.
Carter adores his mummy and trusts her to be his care provider 100%... we have a lovely bond and I hope we have many years together.
Thank you for reading
Carter Bea xx